FISTS FLY AT HOWARD STERN SHOW

SHOCK jock Howard Stern was finally left speechless yesterday after a brawl erupted inside his Sirius Satellite studio between his hard-partying sidekick Artie Lange and Lange's assistant, Teddy, which ended with Lange's quitting the show.

The bickering started off air in the morning, in the hallway adjacent to Stern's studio. Show staffers overheard Lange screaming at Teddy because Teddy asked him for his passport for the fourth time as he planned their flight to Amsterdam, which was set to take off last night. Lange told Teddy he should have photocopied the passport the first time.

Stern was told they had been bickering and brought it up on air. When Teddy came in to defend himself, Lange snapped.

"He's a loser," yelled Lange. "He's the most unorganized assistant. I want to fire him, but he has no money. I hope he dies of AIDS."

Lange, who pays Teddy $24,000 a year for part-time work, then accused Teddy of embarrassing him in front of friends last week in LA when he called Bloomingdale's department store by its nickname, Bloomie's, and announced the store didn't have something in Lange's size.

"I think I hired a fag," said Lange. "I wanted to throw him out the window."

Lange then threw a cup of water at Teddy and lunged at him, throwing a punch that didn't land. Show writer Benjy Bronk jumped on Lange and held him back, while Ronnie "The Limo Driver" Mund burst in to get Teddy out of the studio.

Lange blamed Stern for the fight, saying that Stern "pushed" him to the breaking point and that he couldn't guarantee he wouldn't snap again in the future. He then told Stern he loved him and resigned.

"Don't ever mention Bloomie's around the guy," Stern sighed.

One show insider says that the staff loves Lange and is "extremely upset" but that it's out of Stern's hands and that Sirius management will soon decide Lange's fate. The show is on a break next week.

Both Lange and Teddy failed to return calls for comment. Lange was last spotted by a fan at the Brooklyn Diner on West 57th, drowning his sorrows in a plate of food.